The Know Insider Weblog

My husband and I tried an experiment one night. We were invited to a dinner party with three other couples we didn’t know. What we did know is that we were all around the same age. We also knew what we were having for dinner. The purpose of the dinner party was to have an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends.

That evening as we were heading to the party, we decided to try a communication experiment: we agreed that our role that evening was to ask questions to keep the conversation rolling. You know those 7-minute lulls that occur in conversation? Rather than to allow those lulls and to keep the conversation interesting we’d simply ask questions.

The dinner party lasted two and a half hours. During our time together, my husband and I simply kept the conversation going by asking various members at the table what their interests were, where they’d been on their last vacation, what pets they had as children, describe a memorable experience from their childhood, etc. The mood of the evening was general, casual conversation. Each time we asked a question of one person, it inspired a flow of conversation from the others along similar lines.

At the end of the evening, when my husband and I were leaving the hosts’ home the hosts stopped us at the door to ask a question. They asked: “How did you become such good conversationalists?” We just looked at one another and smiled. The interesting thing about that evening is that we learned a tremendous amount about those six other people, but they learned virtually nothing about us. We had kept the conversation on them and about them, which kept them talking. Consequently, they thought we were amazing!

If you want to get a conversation going with people, talk to them about their favorite subjectsthemselves. Most people get the sense they are never fully listened to. We can increase the level of respect we show them and show that we care about them individually by getting them talking about themselves, their interests, their thoughts, their desires. When we do that, not only are we gathering information about the people; we are also putting their needs before our owna huge sign of respect.

Practice with Conversations at Work

Think about that in terms of your professionalism. If you can discover the needs, wants, and desires of your internal and external clients, you can help to fulfill those needs. When their needs are fulfilled they are generally more cooperative and more productive workers. Your goal, however, cannot be to feign interest in them in order to get more work out of them. People see through that false interest in a heartbeat.

Instead, practice putting the conversations of others ahead of your own just for the sake of showing and giving respect. That in itself is enough of a reason to allow others to speak fully and completely about their topics of interest. When they are allowed that gift, you will benefit from the relationship. You will be learning the value of giving the gift of listening to others, which results in improved rapport.

About the Author:

Dr. Tracy Peterson Turner works with organizations that want to turn their managers into leaders and with leaders who want to get their messages heard. She is an expert in both written and verbal communication and conducts presentations and workshops to help individuals and corporations meet their communication goals.

Visit Tracy on the web at http://www.Mgr-Impact.com. Email her at Tracy@Mgr-Impact.com

Anyone who has done a lot of networking knows how beneficial it can be for a business or career advancement. They often say; “It is all in who you know” and well a lot can be said for that can’t it? Indeed and therefore understanding how to network is essential.

You need to understand how to engage people in conversation find out what they are all about and move around and try to meet and talk with as many people as possible. This is not often easy to do considering someone may find you interesting and therefore make it tough for you to move thru the crowd and get to know everyone else you see?

Rather than calling it “working a room” because that sounds like you are not there to really meet people and that sounds shallow. Lets call it getting to know all the guests and having a great time meeting new and exciting people. Remember; to meet the most amount of people in the shortest amount of time you need to move about and smile and get to know them in a quick way and then move on.

If you spend too much time then you are denying someone the chance to meet you and that would not be fair to them, since most likely are also at the event or party for much the same reason as you are. If you will consider this in 2006 then I bet you become a much better net worker and indeed enjoy the process a lot more you see?

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I went to a networking event the other day where the meeting leader said, “We’re going to skip doing the 30-second introductions today because mine’s so bad and it doesn’t work that it nauseates me.” I thought to myself, WOW! I’d skip the next networking meeting until I’d worked out a new introduction.

Do you get attention with your introduction? Are you prepared to introduce yourself at your next networking event or for when someone ask, “What do you do?” Consider these tips for developing an attention getting introduction.

1. Start With The First 10 Seconds. What if 10 seconds is all you get? Does your first sentence tell your listener enough so they understand what you do and inspire them to want to know more? Here’s the simple, but effective approach. “I work with [type of clients] who have [these types of problems, issues or challenges].” That’s it. Don’t try to sugar it up or make it real catchy.

2. Avoid the What You Are Approach. “I’m an accountant” or “I’m a marketing consultant” or “I’m a financial planner” or “I’m a growth coach”. You’ve heard them time and again. You’ve probably even done it yourself. The problem is your listener(s) may not understand what the title means or even worse they may fill in an incorrect definition.

3. Avoid the What You Do Approach. “I do small business accounting including sales tax and payroll” or “I provide business owners with mentoring and training in comprehensive strategies to improve bottom line results…” Tends to be boring and doesn’t help the listener(s) understand what they get as a result.

4. Say How You Solved a Problem or Served a Client. Reinforce your first 10 second sentence with a second sentence that shows how you solved a problem or overcame a particular issue or challenge. “I help mid-sized accounting firms plan big conferences on a small budget. I just recently lined up free live entertainment for a firm that hosted 500 people in town last week.”

5. Tell Them Why You Are Unique. What makes you stand out from the crowd? Maybe it’s a unique model or approach for better results, focus on a specific niche, a guarantee, or extras that others don’t provide. There are many ways to define your uniqueness that will help gain attention and make you memorable.

Make your introduction an attention getter. Start with the first 10 seconds. You can always build from there once it starts getting attention. Actually write it down and practice out loud several times until you can just say it naturally.

(c) - Kevin Dervin, KPD Marketing.

Kevin Dervin is the owner of KPD Marketing and creator of the ABCD Growth System. If you find this article useful, you’d probably enjoy Kevin’s FREE monthly eZine called ABCD Grow. To subscribe, just go to www.ABCDgrowth.com and follow one of the links to the FREE Stuff page!

I have always dreaded networking in the past. Since I worked for large companies and wasn’t primarily responsible for business development, it was something I could effectively avoid for the 18+ years of my career. When I decided to go into business for myself, I have to tell you that I dreaded getting out there and networking.

I knew that networking would be critical to the establishment of my new business and was a major part of my strategic sales and marketing plan. Since my business is entirely targeted to women, I researched women’s networking groups in my area and just started showing up with business cards. Something surprising happened. I started making connections at these meetings with women I truly enjoyed, respected and admired. I attribute this positive result to the fact that instead of going out and bombarding people with my message, I entered the room determined to find out more about these other women. Naturally, in the course of our conversations I was able to discuss my company and the services I provide, but it goes deeper than that.

To effectively network, you need to take an interest in the other person, listen to what they are telling you and, eventually ask for what you need. So many people write off the person they are speaking to within a couple of seconds but keep in mind that you are not just communicating with that person, you are communicating with their entire network…likely more than 200 people. Who knows who their sister, business partner, brother, husband, etc may be. Perhaps the one person who can take your business to another level?

The best networkers truly want to help their contacts. It’s not a manipulative thing. You don’t feign interest to get what you want. You truly engage and try to match make in a business sense. After all, most valuable business people are well known for their broad and diverse network of resources. It is very valuable to be the one person people think of to call when they need a marketing research company, a professional organizer, a talented graphic designer, an awesome speaker, a top-notch meeting planner or a great attorney.

A phenomenal woman I know, Neen James is a dynamic, funny and truly gifted speaker and an expert on helping people increase their productivity. She also happens to be one of the authors of a fabulous book called, Network or Perish: learn the secrets of master networkers.

According to Neen’s book, there are some effective ways to find the right network and to get the most out of networking:

• Choose the right network for your business
• Organizations can be expensive to join. Visit the meeting twice before joining
• Commit to the events
• Get involvedvolunteer for a committee or to do a job during the meeting itself
• Never hand out cards with crossed out information. Always present a positive image
• Schedule a follow up time and a 20-minute coffee meeting
• Appear confident - even “fake it till you make it”
• Be aware of your body languagestand up straight and tall
• Don’t fidget
• Introduce yourself first
• Shake hands
• Use a person’s name several times when you first meet
• Have some prepared questions planned
• Listen intently

Here are some of my own tips:

• Have a :30 “elevator speech” prepared for when someone asks what you do
• Work to think of connections you can make for the person to whom you are speaking. People will naturally want to connect you with prospects as well
• speaking about what you do, focus on the benefits your customers receive as a result of working with you. For example, “as a result of my services, my clients achieve reduced stress and overwhelm, increased self confidence, increased earning potential and the ability to spend more time with their family without sacrificing work”
• Be sure to express your positive thoughts about the person’s business. So many times we assume successful people know that they come across effectively, look fabulous or have created an amazing business. When you admire someone, tell them. They will truly appreciate it
• Remember, networking is a process. Chances are you won’t meet 10 potential clients at the next event. Your goal should be for others to get to know you, the resources you possess and the services you offer. People want to do business with people they like. Realize that these events allow people to become acquainted with you and eventually utilize your services or recommend you to someone else
• Just get out there and enjoy yourself!

Karyn Pless is the creator of The Beyond Balance Home Study System and President of a U.S. company called Beyond Balance which conducts corporate training, keynote speaking, seminars and executive coaching.

For 18 years Karyn built her career in marketing working her way up the corporate ladder to Vice President of Marketing of a U.S. retailer and then Vice President, Marketing and Creative Services of a U.S. promotional agency while also juggling two children and a husband. After turning to a personal coach herself to reduce the chaos in her life, Karyn decided to become trained and certified as a professional coach and pass on all she has learned to effectively guide business professionals who want practical, real-world, work/life integration tactics that actually work in the business world.

Please visit our website at http://www.WorkLifeExpert.com